Planning Aliyah with aging parents: what every family should know
- 6 hours ago
- 9 min read
By Sharon Beth-Halachmy, Founder and CEO at B'Lev Shalem
Naomi has lived in Israel for nearly 20 years. Her children were raised here. This is home.
Her mother still lives in Toronto.
After Naomi’s father died, their weekly phone calls slowly began to change. Instead of talking about grandchildren, holidays and everyday life, they became conversations about medications, doctors’ appointments, neighbors checking in, and whether her mother was managing as well as she insisted she was.
Eventually Naomi asked the question we hear almost every week.
“Can I bring my mother to Israel?”
Sometimes the question comes from families planning Aliyah themselves who want to bring an aging parent with them.
Sometimes it comes from people who have lived in Israel for years–even decades–and yearn to have their parents here near their children and grandchildren.
Sometimes it comes from older adults who were born and raised in Israel, left decades ago, and want to return to spend their later years here.
Every family's circumstances are different.
The questions that follow, however, are remarkably similar.
Will my mother be covered by a kupat cholim as soon as she arrives?
Can we hire a live-in caregiver before my father comes?
Should my parents move into their own apartment or an assisted living facility?
Will they be eligible for assistance from Bituach Leumi?
How much is this all going to cost?
These are all important questions. But the real challenge isn’t finding the answer to each one individually. It’s understanding how they fit together.
Successful Aliyah for an older adult isn’t about solving one problem at a time. It's about building a realistic plan that brings together healthcare, housing, caregiving, finances, family support, and the countless practical details that make everyday life possible.
The good news is that, with thoughtful planning, Aliyah is not only possible for many older adults, but a successful Aliyah can be life-changing. The families who have the smoothest transitions aren’t necessarily the ones with the fewest challenges. They’re the ones who start planning early and understand the whole picture before they begin.
Start planning before the move becomes urgent
One of the biggest mistakes families make is waiting until they’ve made a final decision before they begin planning.
It’s understandable. The process can feel overwhelming, and many people assume there is little point researching healthcare, housing, care options, or government assistance until they are certain that they’re going to make Aliyah.
In reality, the opposite is true.
Planning doesn’t commit you to making Aliyah. It gives you the information you need to decide whether the move is realistic, what it will involve, and when the time is right.
Just as importantly, it gives you options.
Helping an aging parent make Aliyah rarely happens quickly. Medical records need to be gathered. Financial implications need to be understood. Housing and care options need to be explored. Families need time to decide who will take responsibility for what. Applications, paperwork, and approvals all take time–sometimes months.
Parents need time too.
Leaving a home, a community, lifelong friends–and sometimes the grave of a spouse or close family member–isn’t simply a logistical exercise. It is one of the biggest transitions an older person will ever make. Those conversations deserve patience, honesty and sensitivity.
At the same time, the clock is ticking.
A parent who is living independently today may hope to move into a diyur mugan (independent living facility) after making Aliyah. An unexpected fall, hospitalization, or cognitive decline six months from now could eliminate that option.
More than anything, we find that families gain confidence as they gather information. You can’t make an informed decision about something you do not yet understand.
Starting early is not a commitment. It is the beginning of a real conversation.
Understanding what your parent really needs
One of the things we've learned over the years is that different family members often have very different views of the same situation.
An adult child living thousands of miles away may describe a parent as “doing quite well” because each visit still feels reassuring.
A sibling who lives nearby may have noticed subtle changes over months or years: increasing difficulty managing the household, more frequent falls, growing forgetfulness, or increasing social isolation.
Medical records sometimes reveal issues that the family wasn’t aware of–or perhaps wasn’t ready to hear.
And the parents themselves often have an entirely different perspective–not only about their needs, but also their priorities.
None of these perspectives is wrong. Together, they form the pieces of a much larger picture.
Before making Aliyah, families need an objective understanding of where things stand today.
How is your parent functioning physically?
How are they managing cognitively?
What support are they already receiving, and from whom?
What assistance are they likely to need immediately when they arrive in Israel? Six months later? Two years from now?
The answers to those questions shape almost every decision that follows: where your parent should live, whether they will need a caregiver, what financial resources will be required, and what support systems will need to be in place before they arrive.
A comprehensive geriatric assessment before the move is one of the most valuable investments a family can make. It provides an objective picture of a person's medical, functional, cognitive, emotional, and social needs, giving everyone the same understanding of the starting point and helping families plan realistically for the future.
Because making Aliyah doesn't change your parent’s care needs.
It changes where—and how—those needs will be met.
Choosing the right place to live
Choosing where your parent will live is one of the biggest decisions your family will make–and it's actually two decisions.
The first is where in Israel they should live. The second is what type of housing will be the best fit for them.
For most families, the starting point is obvious: they want their parents to live close to children and grandchildren. In many cases, that’s exactly the right decision.
But it’s worth thinking a little more broadly.
Will your parents have opportunities to build a social life and become part of a community? Will they be close to the doctors, hospitals and rehabilitation services they are most likely to need? If they don’t drive–or eventually stop driving–will they be able to get around independently?
Living near family is important. Equally important is choosing a place where your parent can continue to live well.
The next question is what type of housing is the best fit.
Broadly speaking, residential options include living independently in the community, diyur mugan (sheltered housing, sometimes loosely translated as assisted living but without the level of built-in care that term implies abroad), and a beit avot or nursing facility for people who require a higher level of care.
The right choice depends on far more than a medical diagnosis. It depends on your parent’s level of independence, personality, financial resources and the support your family is realistically able to provide.
If diyur mugan is the goal, there are two important things to understand.
First, timing matters.
Most communities accept only residents who are still living independently. A parent who depends on assistance with activities of daily living may no longer be eligible. Even if they qualify today, an unexpected fall, hospitalization or cognitive decline while plans are underway may change the picture entirely.
Second, think beyond the move itself.
Diyur mugan can be a wonderful environment, but it is not a substitute for care. As your parent’s needs change, families will still need to coordinate–and fund–home care and other support services.
Whatever housing option you choose, don’t plan only for today. Think about where your parent is likely to be in two, five or even ten years from now. Will the apartment still work if mobility changes? Can a caregiver live there if one becomes necessary? Will there be opportunities for social engagement? Will it be practical to bring in part-time or live-in caregivers if they become necessary?
Exploring the options early gives families more flexibility and makes it much easier to choose a home that will continue to support both independence and quality of life.
family member on the housing decision — what they chose, what surprised them, what they would do differently
Building the right support system
One of the questions we hear most often:
“Will my parent have healthcare from the day they arrive”
For new Olim (new immigrants), the reassuring answer is reassuringly simple.
Yes.
Older adults making Aliyah are entitled to join one of Israel’s four kupot cholim (health funds) immediately upon arrival, regardless of age or pre-existing conditions. Basic health insurance covers primary care, specialists visits, hospitalization, and most medications. Families can also purchase supplemental insurance to expand access to certain services.
For many families, that comes as an enormous relief.
Many families assume that once their parent has a kupat cholim card, the difficult part is over.
In reality, it's the starting line.
You will need to think through the logistics of managing medical care–identifying the right specialists, scheduling appointments, coordinating referrals, following up on test results, renewing prescriptions, accompanying parents to appointments when needed, and in general making sure everyone understands the plan.
A successful transition depends not only on access to healthcare, but on having the right people and support systems in place to help an older adult navigate that healthcare system and maintain their independence.
Planning for the first weeks after Aliyah
For older adults requiring daily care, one aspect of Aliyah often catches families by surprise.
Healthcare begins immediately.
Long-term care does not.
A live-in foreign caregiver cannot meet your loved one at the airport. Before someone can legally employ a foreign caregiver, they first need approval for a permit to employ a foreign worker–a process that can be started only after your parent arrives in Israel.
That creates an important transition period that needs to be planned carefully.
Depending on a parent's needs, families may need to provide additional support themselves, privately fund temporary caregiving, or arrange a short stay in a rehabilitation or residential care facility while permanent arrangements are put in place.
None of this means making Aliyah isn’t possible. It simply means that the first few weeks require careful planning, some flexibility and maybe creativity.
Understanding the costs
For many families, cost is one of the biggest questions–and understandably so.
The mistake we often see is trying to answer that question too early.
Families ask, “How much will it cost to bring my parent to Israel?” But before that question can be answered, it’s important to ask another one:
Compared to what?
The meaningful comparison isn’t between living where they are today and living in Israel.
It’s between meeting your parent’s care needs where they are today and meeting those same needs after making Aliyah.
Sometimes the numbers surprise people.
For families currently paying for home care in North America or the UK, ongoing care in Israel–particularly live-in care–may be considerably less expensive. For eligible individuals, financial assistance through Bituach Leumi can reduce costs even further.
For other families, the picture is more complicated. A parent who needs residential care, has significant medical needs, or is not eligible for certain benefits may face a very different financial reality.
That is why it is so important to look beyond individual expenses and develop a realistic financial plan before the move. To think not only about today’s costs, but also about the care your parent is likely to need in the years ahead, and how those needs will affect their overall cost of living in Israel.
Every family’s circumstances are different. Taking the time to compare the full picture–not just individual line items–allows families to make informed decisions and avoid unexpected surprises later.
What families tell us afterwards
Bringing an aging parent to Israel is a significant transition–for everyone involved.
The first few months are rarely easy.
There is a new healthcare system to learn, massive bureaucratic hurdles to overcome, routines to establish, relationships to build, and the inevitable adjustment that comes with leaving behind a familiar home, community, and way of life.
There are days when adult children wonder if they made the right decision. There are days when parents wonder the same.
But then, slowly, life begins to settle.
A grandchild appears at the door on a Tuesday afternoon for no particular reason.
There is a Shabbat dinner with everyone around the same table, and the parent who spent years celebrating alone is suddenly surrounded by children and grandchildren.
There is a grandchild’s army tekes and a great-grandchild’s school performance that your parent is there to watch in person.
A Hanukkah candle lit together, in the same room, for the first time in years.
Over the years, we have watched older adults who were gradually becoming isolated and increasingly dependent on others rediscover a sense of purpose, belonging, and connection after making Aliyah.
We have watched people who were fading come back to life.
It is the phrase we keep returning to because it is the truest one we have. It is what we see, again and again, on the other side of a decision that once felt overwhelming.
family member or parent, one to two years after the move, on what the experience has actually been like
The families who approach the process thoughtfully—who start planning early, ask difficult questions, and build the right support system—tell us almost without exception:
"We wish we had done it sooner."
If your family is beginning to have this conversation, we'd be honoured to be part of it.
Our role isn’t to persuade families to make Aliyah. It's to help them understand what’s involved, weigh the options carefully, and, if Aliyah is the right choice, build a plan that gives their parent the best possible foundation for a successful transition.
Successful Aliyah for an aging parent isn't about finding one perfect answer. It's about bringing together all the pieces—medical, practical, financial, emotional, and logistical—and building a plan that fits your parent's unique circumstances, both now and in the years ahead.
Thinking about Aliyah for an elderly parent? We’d be happy to help you explore your options.
Thinking about Aliyah for an elderly parent? We’d be happy to help you explore your options.